the day of LOVE

thanks Maple for such a great picture

The day is flowers, candy, expectations, failures, over abundance, hugs, squeezes, nausea, delight… You name it, you’ll find it. Self-love, true-love, love the baby, love your mama. Heck, love your dog for that matter.

What is love? Here’s the low down according to www.dictionary.com

As we got closer to the city, I decided to find out a little about this young lady who was aptly navigating the city’s traffic on my behalf. I had never been in a cab with a female driver before. My curiosity got the best of me.

As I inquired I discovered that my driver was in school. She had been driving a cab for two years because she could set her work schedule around her school schedule. She had already received her associate’s degree and was currently working on  her bachelors.

Guess what, she was studying to be a TEACHER. Of course she was! Fate would bring me to this cab.

We had quite a nice conversation the rest of the way. We shared perspectives on our profession. It was refreshing to hear from the newby, drink in the idealism, and feel the energy of a life of teaching yet to begin.

Everywhere you go there’s a teacher. Open the door. Start a conversation. Drink in the beauty of those who are passionate about reaching children! There really is nothing better than to hear the future.

As long as we’re talking truth, I should disclose that we really needed to change the locks a long time ago. Our bottom lock never did seem to really “catch.” We have been known to come home to the door wide open. Not the highest level of security around here- until now. The locksmith is here. He’s already identified the issues and is on his way to shaping up our homeland security.

Made me think, we have been sort of “forced” to make this change/improvement, but things are going to be much better when this job is done. Peace of mind will be ours.

This is much bigger than our locks. Can you already see where this whole thing is going? It’s so clear to me. Let me spell it out.

Often we have things in our life that need to change. We know it and we ignore it; even when we come home and find the door wide open. We simply close up the issue and move on; as if it will change on its own. It won’t. Change requires an action on your part. I had to call the locksmith and pay the man. You’ll have to take an action also. I encourage you to take that action NOW- before you have to pay with something more valuable than money.

Can you give yourself permission to:

• relax?
• step away from a messy house?
• take time for you to rejuvenate?
• be angry with someone you love?
• grieve?
• take a nap?
• say no to a worthy request?
• ask for help?
• make your needs known?

In my travels across the country I meet more and more teachers; wonderful people, I assure you. But more often than not, I find these same wonderful folks are  unable to give themselves permission to take care of themselves. There’s just something about women- women teachers in particular-  that makes it hard for them to give themselves permission to do the things listed above and any number of other things in the area of taking care of themselves.

Why is that?

These wonderful women teachers take care of everyone and sacrifice themselves to do it. When they do take time for themselves, they feel guilty.

Do you fit in with these women? Do you want to change this?

Journal out the answers to these questions in your 15 minutes. Write it out.

• What do I think will happen if I step back from this responsibility?
• What will really happen?
• How are my thoughts different from reality?
• What are the benefits of me stepping back?
• What are the negatives?
• How can I resolve these two opposing factors?

Take time to answer these questions fully and honestly; even if it hurts. Remember you are going to grow a beautiful flower of a delightful life taking care of you and everyone else, but from a place of freedom rather than overwhelm. Just like a beautiful flower, when you first begin to grow you will push a little bit of dirt up and out of the way before you can sprout. It’s only dirt. Things may get a little messy in your thoughts/feelings, but after that you’ll see how the dirt falls to the side and actually creates a more stable foundation for your flowering life.

Photos of the Stone of Hope being built.

The following information comes from the Washington Post. They also have a really cool exploration site here. You can virtually tour and explore the memorial. 

“About the sculpture

The sculpture, called the “Stone of Hope,” gets its name from a line in King’s “I Have a Dream” speech: “With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.” At the entrance to the memorial two stones stand apart, representing the “Mountain of Despair.” A single wedge is pushed out, and from there King’s form emerges.

Size comparison to notable icons on the Mall

The site of the memorial

The sculpture stands on a four-acre plot on the northwest corner of the Tidal Basin, across from the Thomas Jefferson Memorial and next to the Franklin D. Roosevelt Memorial. It creates a visual “line of leadership” from the Lincoln Memorial to the Jefferson Memorial.

Photos by Nikki Kahn; Production by Kat Downs – The Washington Post.
Made with Microsoft Photosynth. Published August 22, 2011.”

Not me though.

I gave up New Year’s resolutions years ago. I sort of  floundered for a while wondering what to do if I didn’t “resolve” to do something. Then I learned to own my anti-resolution phase. Now I take a different approach. This one serves me quite a bit better.

You may have seen my eZine, Embracing the Apple, last week where I spoke of one piece of my new approach, which is to choose a word of the year that guides you throughout the year. This approach lasts- all 12 months! So if you havent’ read that one, check it out.

But let’s move on.

The other thing that I find helps me to be focused, productive, and happy is setting priorities. Three maybe four overarching priorities. This is going to sound WAAAAAY simple, but think about it for a moment-

Let’s say you set family as your number one priority, but by February you are working 50 hours a week and too tired to even deal with the children when you get home each evening. Is family really a priority? You may convince yourself that no one else can do your job or you’ll lose your job if you don’t work or you won’t have money to stay in your home without that many hours. Some of these ideas may even represent reality to you, but if family is priority and you don’t spend any time with them it seems to me you will be living in a state of discomfort and guilt because what you WANT and what you DO are not working together.

So, what now? I recommend you get clear about what the priority of family looks and feels like to you. Really think this through. Start by making a list of your “dream life” with family as priority. Hold no boundaries dream big.

My boys on our family trip to New York City for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Second, go through your list and circle the 5 ideas that you love the most. At this point you have something to work with. If you feel overwhelmed, cut your list down to two or even to one. The object here is to recognize what your priority of family looks like and then begin to carve out small bits of time, space, and energy that will enable you to live congruently. NO huge resolutions. Simply a few small “go to” strategies that allow you to honor your priority.

I am constantly revisiting my priority of family. I LOVE my work. I could work 24-7 even though it really dulls the creative senses- and ROBS ME OF FAMILY TIME. So, for me to live without guilt and live in alignment with that priority, I developed several “go to” strategies. Here are a few of them:

• go to bed by 11pm
• eat dinner together
• plan ahead to give attention to my son right after school
• recognize and be prepared for some late night conversation with my eldest child

You see, I didn’t resolve to go to bed by 11pm every night- that would have already be blown to bits as a resolution. Instead I keep family as a priority in my life by having “go-to” strategies at the ready that fit in the life I lead.

Life around my home is constantly changing. By having an overriding priority, I can ebb and flow with life feeling at peace because I am living congruent to my priorities- but without constraint and unreal expectations.

If you like the sounds of living in peace with your priorities in tact, give the word of the year and setting priorities a try. I hope you’ll find it as freeing and beautiful as I do.

It’s New Year’s Day- well, night. I was in the kitchen just moments ago unloading the dishwasher and loading it back up. Yes, it is almost 11:00pm, but I felt like straightening the kitchen. So I did.

I was moving rather swiftly, especially for 11:00 at night, and my brain and soul were on the move too. I felt compelled to write. Strong word, I know, but I was compelled and here’s the message I can not keep to myself.

Dear teachers, who will very soon return to your classrooms- or perhaps even your living rooms as a homeschooling mom- YOU matter! I want you to know that I am here. I am appreciating you at every turn. I value you. I cheer you on. I send you love when you feel beat up. I send you hope when you feel hopeless. I celebrate your joy when you celebrate. YOU are important to me.

I know that you matter to lots of other folks too. Parents, children, folks you know and millions you’ll never meet are counting on you to make a difference in the lives of the children you encounter. We are all counting on you to shape the future for us. Your touch will impact the young minds who will invent the inventions that improve- or destroy. Your understanding will encourage another kind soul to be born- or killed. Your love for learning will be contagious- or quarantined.

The responsibility trusted to you is enormous. To say you shape the future is not a trite saying, but indeed the charge to which you have been called. Go forth this week and in the coming months knowing that your every decision is of consequence; every interaction of importance. Choose wisely how  you interact with the world and with the future, for we are all counting on you.

Most importantly, when  you think, “What does it matter anyway?” think again. Know that I am behind you, whispering encouragement to you at every turn, believing in your ability, and celebrating your successes. Take rest when you need it- for yours is a hefty load to carry about. Then approach each new day renewed and excited to shape the future- confident that you are uniquely gifted to touch the lives you have been given.  No one else can walk your path, in your shoes, the way YOU will do it.

Have a great week – month- New Year of shaping the world one child at a time.

xoxo,

x

I never had a dog when I was growing up. I had a cat.

Later in life, my oldest son and I convinced my husband years ago to let us get a kitten. That cat was wonderful. My husband loved “Witty.”

Over a decade later we have another cat. Another wonderful animal.

JR relaxing on the couch- right by my feet.

But, the youngest son wasn’t thrilled. He is a “dog man.”

So a few Christmases ago, we ventured to the local pounds and finally settled on a fine beast. His pound name was JR. We figured it would change over time that he would grow into some other adorable and fitting name. Alas, it did not happen. He truly is a “JR.”

At times over these few years he’s been with us, I wasn’t sure which he’d rather do, sit on the couch and drink beer or coffee. He imitates my sigh perfectly and will comfort a hurting soul for hours at a time; providing unconditional love by his mere presence.

He is indeed a fine animal and fits our family perfectly. Over time he and the cat have become congenial towards one another also.

As I count my blessings, and they are many, old JR is among the tops.

Guest Post by Emily Patterson

Raising your children to care for others is a big job for some parents. Most parents want their children to consider the needs of others in addition to taking care of themselves. This selfless attitude must be introduced at an early age so it comes naturally to your children as they grow older. Finding an opportunity that means something to your family can provide an even bigger impact on your children.

Before you find a volunteer opportunity for you and your family, you need to consider why you want to volunteer. If you are just hoping to volunteer for appearance purposes, you aren’t doing your children a favor by teaching them to volunteer just so you look good. Instead, make a list of the values you treasure as a person. These are the values you want to teach your children. The values you want to teach can also help you choose a project to pursue.

Once you know what types of values you want to teach your children through volunteering opportunities, you must select an opportunity. If you can, you should choose one that is close to you and your family. For instance, if you have close family in the military, volunteering to help soldiers may be the best choice. Make a list of organizations or opportunities with which you are familiar to get an idea of where to start.

After you organize a list of possibilities, seek out a volunteer organization that works with child volunteers. Some organizations don’t allow children to help with volunteer opportunities. Therefore, it is up to you to find one that will allow your children to go with you and lend a hand. Interview an organization employee to seek the answers to all of your questions before you bring your children in. The organization may also be able to give you more ideas for where you and your family can volunteer.

When you have a volunteer opportunity arranged, it is time to present the idea to your children. Tell your children what you will be doing and why. Your children will likely have plenty of questions for you, including why some people need help. Be prepared for these questions so you can answer them in an age-appropriate manner. If you need help answering questions, ask the organization for ideas. Show your children that they can help those who don’t have everything they have. For instance, if you donate toys to a local shelter or children’s hospital, your children would feel sympathy for the other children if you tell them that these children don’t have toys to play with.

The holidays provide a great time to volunteer with your children to encourage them to care for others who are less fortunate. It also broadens their awareness for others in the community and world that are less fortunate. Children are apt to grow up as more compassionate children if they learn to care for others at a young age.

Don’t stop teaching your child to volunteer after the holiday season though; there are ample opportunities to help others throughout the course of the year. Perhaps you and your family could make it your new years resolution to volunteer throughout the whole year!

Submitted by Emily Patterson on behalf of Primrose Schools Day Care. Through an accelerated Balanced Learning® curriculum, Primrose Schools students are exposed to a widely diverse range of subject matter giving them a much greater opportunity to develop mentally, physically and socially. Emily has written a number of articles on topics varying from bilingual learning to teaching the importance of volunteering. Primrose is currently raising awareness for Feeding America and their efforts to help Americans in need. To join in, visit their Facebook page where you can donate $1 by liking it or $2 by sharing.

What’s the attraction to this cheese?

Perhaps it is the mere escape to a world where things like: love, miracles, happy endings, giving, sharing etc. exist in excess. Tell me, who doesn’t need a little more of the good stuff.

At every turn these days I hear tell of “this economy,” “people starving,” “war,” “robbery,” “death and destruction,” “divorce,…” So, cheesy or not, I’m in for more Hallmark Christmas movies. Anyone want to join in for love, miracles, happy endings?

Bring on the wine and crackers ’cause the cheese is available every night from now until Christmas.

Enjoy!